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Think Of Me As Your Cat
Pastorale
Permaculture Creatures
Poetry is better than Sex (includes the song "Celebration") | | Think Of Me As Your Cat
Don't want to be your girlfriend,
Don't want to be your wife,
Too many obligations
Cluttering up my life.
But I have a fine solution
If you want me to be with you.
Use your imagination,
Here's all you have to do...
Think of me as your cat.
You can get used to that.
Frolic in your garden,
Slightly overfed,
Feeling warm and purry,
Hogging all the bed.
Obligation free,
It would be such fun,
Chasing after butterflies,
Sleeping in the sun.
You would find me gorgeous
Even when I was a pest,
Tearing up the furniture,
Scratching all your guests.
I could flirt with anyone
Without the risk of danger.
Play and tease with all your friends
Or some attractive stranger.
I could just ignore you
If you were in a mood.
Go out late with all my friends
And just come home for food
And it wouldn't piss you off
I treated you like that,
I could get away with it
If I was your cat.
| | Pastorale
Many a family
On outings bucolic,
Will pack in their picnics
Some fine alcoholic
Or smokable substance
Exotic and smelly
To help them unwind
Whilst withdrawing from telly.
But they sprayed all the paddocks
To rid them of "goldies",
So kids won't consume them
And freak out the oldies.
With never a thought ,
That the "beeves" and the "dairies"
Might need to go frolicking,
Off with the fairies.
| | Permaculture Creatures
There's a parable that's related
'Bout a farmer who'd been frustrated
For his agriculture generated minimal gain
Laboring in inhospitable terrain
But the seeds that they reckon were wasted
By some birds were obligingly tasted
And some survived ornithological travel
So this tangential tale begins to unravel.
Well, they came to be shat intact
Equipped with personal power packs
Naturally subsidized immigration
Assisting in their assimilation
And by sharing around this beneficent faeces
Enriching the conditions of existing species
An arrangement evolved that was symbiotic
Between indigenous and exotic
Eventually returning to the farmer
Were bucket loads of excellent karma
Growth was sparse, but even so
It anchored the topsoil and more did grow
He watched amazed totally delighted
By every tiny improvement he sighted
Ignoring his neighbors who thought he was crazy
Taunted and damned him as foolish and lazy
He was patient, frugal , only covering needs,
Mulched, manured, discovered that weeds
Had medicinal uses formed windbreaks and shade
So weeds made him happy instead of dismayed
And when a blight destroyed his neighbor's monoculture farm
His permaculture plan was only minimally harmed
And some were even humbled, tortured by regrets
But the banks controlled their choices they were shackled with debts
Now the air was rent by his neighbors moans
When the banks started foreclosing on the loans
That they'd only approved for the kind of produce
Requiring irrigation schemes and chemical use
And the farmers copped the blame for all the over cropping
For the water table rising, productivity dropping
'Cause the public didn't know about hidden obligations
To purchase the products of major corporations
The populace misinformation were fed
And away from the crux of the issue were led
So the permaculture man took a pen in his hand
To sow seeds of hope in the souls of the land
Imparting a wisdom wrought from the earth
So if life gave them shit they could appreciate it's worth
Adding vital nutrients at moderate cost
Mulled into the method of the cosmic compost
Lay down a base of something dry
The desiccated values of times gone by
Now sprinkle liberally with disrespect
Like the dung that's been flung at their ultimate effect
Dampen down with cathartic tears
to encourage a fungus that eats up fears
Now try a layer of pruned down beautiful dreams
then the shit you gave yourself for being so green.
You'll probably find my concept hysterical
I want you to make the compost spherical
Layer, turn and brew it until you're sure
There's no shit to be dealt with any more
But don't leave the love humus in a heap
The promise of the future won't just keep
Spread it generously around each heart
Give every gardener the power to start.
Permaculture cultures
Cultured creatures
Put in inner gardens
Gardening's a lovely teacher.
|  | | Poetry is better than Sex
This is a live recording from the World Poetry Debate "Poetry Is Better than Sex" Western Australia versus The Rest Of The World. As part of the rest of the world we were lucky enough to get to argue this one in the negative. Those familiar with my work will realize I was a big cheaty pants filling up most of my allotted time with 3 verses from "Celebration" the song I wrote for the Terrence Higgins Trust symposium in 1987 when asked if I could do a "positive song about safe sex". Our team won the argument in what was possibly the most enjoyed World Poetry Debate ever and definitely the one which turned the debate into the best attended event at subsequent National Folk Festivals... which may just suggest that poetry is better than sex anyway. Cd s were made of the entire event and will be for sale in my shop very soon. By the way this includes the first recording of the famous "Celebration" song.
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